Collage-speak, hear, talk no evil-BW2-webThe thoughts kept spinning through my head. The guilt, the feeling of emptiness and sadness wouldn’t go away….the thoughts just kept haunting me. I got a stronger and stronger need to find someone I could talk to about everything that had happened and all the strange thoughts that kept spinning through my head.

 

“When I cried I was ignored by nurses and doctors” 

 

I was constantly crying…. The nurses and the doctors just ignored me and walked passed my bed when I was crying. They came back when I was done crying…. Being ignored resulted in feelings of guilt and loneliness to grow inside me…and new thoughts started spinning in my head… Why didn’t anyone care, stretch out a helping hand, and give me some comfort…

 

After all I had been in a very serious accident and in my head there had to be a system that could take care of me and help me to work out all the strange and bad feelings I had!? In the news we always read about the ‘big’ system that coordinates with trauma team and people who the injured can talk to. Should it not be like that for me as well I thought…

 

«There was no one I could talk to»

 

After a few days I finally managed to get the courage to ask a nurse if there were someone I could talk to. But….no! The nurse told me there was no one to talk to….

I thought, why not? I was close to dying in the accident and there were no support system around to help me – no one to talk to? If there’s a deadly accident or where several people are involved there’s always a trauma team taking care of the next of kind or the ones who were involved in the accident. I thought – Was I not important because I was alone in the accident and because I survived!?

 

I contacted a friend who’d been an ambulance driver to find out whether he knew if there was someone who could help me or who I could talk to.  Luckily he found someone I could talk to – a fantastic person and communication partner – the hospital priest Lie Bjelland. When I asked the nurse to make an appointment with him she thought it was a great idea…

 

Unbelievable that I, who had been in a car accident and was seriously injured, had to figure this out by myself…..

 

«Finally there was someone who saw me, heard me, understood me and reassured me»

 

The conversations with Lie Bjelland were amazing. Finally there was someone who saw me, heard me, understood me and reassured me that it was not unusual to feel depressed and have lots of strange thoughts and feelings after such serious trauma as I had been through. We had lots of good talks and in time I managed to relax and realize how lucky I had been.

I’d survived, the kids still had their mum, my parents 2 daughters, my sister her sister, my friends their friend….»